Random Thoughts

July 29, 2009

With apologies to Thomas Sowell:

*I watched Killer Tomatoes Eat France over the weekend, and, man, was I disappointed. Not only were the protagonists trying to save France (by restoring the French monarchy), there was very little Killer Tomatoes squashing dirty Frenchmen. I can only recall one person (the tour guide for the evil henchman’s castle tour) even being eaten.

False advertising, I tell you. Not even Gomez Adams and the movie’s attempt to dispel the stereotype that French women are supposed to be thin and attractive could save it.

*Is there any candy both more wasteful and more tasty than Starbursts? 12 individually wrapped pieces of gooey delight bound together in another wrapper. Now ‘n’ Later come wrapped in bits of 18 individually wrapped pieces, grouped together by flavor (with wrapping), and bound together with a third layer of wrapping, but I have no luck with them. They are either semi-melted, making removing them from their packaging a pain, or rock-hard. Apparently, they only have a shelf life of one month (they oxidize).

*Is it just me, or does Cap ‘n’ Trade sound like a generic brand cereal?

Too poor or cheap to get Cap’n Crunch? Try Cap’n Trade! All the “deliciousness” of Cap’n Crunch, but for a whole lot less! With Cap’n Crunch, you have to pay for advertising and carbon emissions to power their infernal cereal making machines. Cap’n Trade does not advertise and uses Third-world slave labor to assemble our cereal in an eco-friendly way! Of course, you cannot afford Cap’n Crunch anymore since we took your ability to use internal combustion engines away and now you are unemployed, so you will be buying Cap’n Trade, if anything at all…

*Is it not ironic that “monosyllabic” is not a monosyllabic word?

*UPDATE: Yes, I know this is normally a Friday thing, but I hit the post button accidentally. Maybe I’ll do a bonus post on Friday. Maybe next week’s will be extra long. Who knows…