So, if you have been following the status page for Operation: Gun-Totin’ Career?, you must have noticed that I am making slow, steady progress towards losing the weight of a small child. But some recent developments may make that weight loss moot (other than, of course, the health benefits of weighing one less small child).

First off, the boss-man is trying to move me over to the other shop; if his attempts are successful, that means no more night-person life for me (plus a small raise)! My rut will be broken and I can begin to attempt to build a social life of sorts. Whether those attempts would amount to anything is a different matter, but it might be enough that I can be content, career-wise.

Secondly, my tutoring pupil let me know that his high school alma mater might have an opening and be willing to take a chance on me, even after seeing my resume. That would get me out of my night-person rut, plus (I assume) a hefty raise, a shot at a real career, and a daily commute! This is what I am ultimately looking for, assuming they think my potential is worth the investment of time (I still feel young, stupid, and needing some guidance to become something better than a mediocre teacher). That would be the escape route over the dead end I feel my attempts at getting an actual teaching job would result in.

I am denied the opportunity to serve until I lose this weight (assuming, of course, that the army does not have objections they have yet to voice). If either of the aforementioned opportunties come to fruition before then, I might just try for the Reserves instead of the full-time army. But, it is nice to see multiple lights at the end of the tunnel; hopefully, I make the right decision when the time comes.

And, as expected, there is still no progress on Operation: Yearly Rejection, for those of you are still keeping track on that.


I got myself a scale to monitor my weight loss (see my insane diet plan).

Apparently, it’s already working. I lost 10 pounds since starting last Tuesday. Granted, some of that is the difference in the weight of the food in my system (I had a meal a couple of hours before being weighed at the recruiting station, whereas I have yet to have a meal today). Some of it probably water weight loss too. But still, 10 pounds in less than a week. Not too shabby.

So, the Army told me I had to lose 50 pounds.

Time for drastic weight loss measures:

  • No more solids (except when eating with other people): Since part of the reason I’m trying to enlist is to save my pitiful attempt at a social life, I’ll allow myself to cheat when actually getting to socialize by eating salad (bland, boring rabbit food). Otherwise, smoothies, soup, and whatnot for me.
  • No fried food and limit diary products: Empty calories and excess phlegm, no thanks.
  • No more after work meals: I understand night workers are by nature unhealthy, but eating right before bed is really bad.
  • Lots of walking (except when transporting things too heavy to backpack): It would be silly to backpack frozen fruit, letting them melt and make my backpack sticky with thawed goo. Otherwise, walking for me.

Crazy? You betcha. Will it work? Keep tuning in to find out.

Is it weird to have a mid-life crisis at 24? My 25th birthday is coming up and I feel like I am worse off than where I was when I was 20. At 20, I was a senior in college; now I have a graduate degree and work as a night manager at a coffee shop. As a night manager, I have absolutely no social life (as I have noted before). And most of the people than put up with my obnoxiousness when I was in college have moved on: they got married and/or moved away.

I am in a very nasty rut. The life of a night person is lonely and miserable; something has to give. I need to do something rather radical if I am going to have any semblance of an enjoyable career.

If I learned anything while doing my teaching internship, it is that I am lacking in classroom management; I was non-renewed for “not sufficiently improving the rapport I had with my students”, code for not able to get the jocks in line. A school that I would want to work for will not hire me with that black spot on my record unless I am able to show that I have somehow fixed the problem. So that is a dead end.

Getting another “menial” job (with more normal hours) is another dead end. I would say that I am unavailable to work on Sunday and, as anyone else who has tried to get a job while limiting your availability will tell you, I will get passed over for someone more willing to break a Sabbath.

The way I see it, I have one of two options: 1) give up on having any semblance of a social life and become a hermit, only emerging from my apartment cocoon for work or 2) enlist.

And, if the name I gave this operation is any indictation, I am heavily leaning towards the military. I am in a decent position to start off as an officer and I would be able to use a military career to show that I can manage a classroom. Call me old fashioned, but I am also looking for an employer that is willing to invest in young, stupid kids like me. The assumption that college makes someone fully competent is a bad one.

So, Operation: Gun Totin’ Career? is now beginning. I’m getting started by heading to the recruitment office tomorrow. If you have any ideas, throw them at me. Over and out.