I know this is old news by now, but I’m a little mad at South Park. The whole episode “200”/”201″ thing is really annoying. I still cannot watch episode 201 on-line (like I have to, seeing as I have no cable). And they should have known better.

When they did the “Cartoon Wars” two-parter, the Mohammadeans made the same stink they made for the most recent two-parter. If they just told the story as a one-parter (or, possibly better yet, killed off Mohammad in part-one), I could have seen the whole thing. But noooooooooo, they had to make it a two-parter despite knowing that Comedy Central would wuss out at the first wiff of Mohammadean ire.

My other Pop Culture note concerns Siege, Marvel’s latest crossover do-dad. Specifically, some comments made by one of the Deadpool cos-play video makers I favorited from the Youtube (Nota Bene: crudeness ahoy!):

1) Yes, Sentry was lame and I’m glad he is dead. As I am glad Ares, Loki, and Asgard are dead too.

2) Loki was trying to use Osborn to send Asgard back to wherever Asgard was supposed to be, not trying to smash Asgard into dust.

3) The throw Sentry in the sun thing was more for a burial than a “let’s make sure” thang.

4) As to why Siege was so rushed: I don’t think Marvel was expecting Obama to win the election. The “Bendis Bummer Age” (as I am now calling Secret War [Latveria] to Siege #4) was a reflection of Marvel’s abhorrence of conservativism. Secret War [Latveria] and Civil War were stabs against interventionist foreign policy and anti-terrorist domestic policies, respectively. The Dark Reign storyline, while interesting, did not fit the new Hopey/Changey vibe (aka Heroic Age) they wanted once Obama won. They got out of Dark Reign as quickly as they possibly could without making people think they did not develop the arc.

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…and may Obama, Pelosi, and the gang rot in hell for it.

It’s kind of ironic. Just this morning, before I heard the damnable news (and, yes, I am asking God to utterly destroy that soon-to-be law), I was thinking how one more financial set-back would make me want to consider living the life of a hobo, riding the rails and summoning cyclones to fight off the rail guards (well, maybe my thought process was not that surreal, but it was pretty close). I’m barely squeaking by and cannot imagine squeezing in a third job to increase the income. I can afford neither health insurance nor the fines associated with not complying with this new declaration that America should fornicate with it’s mother.

Not that I want health insurance to begin with. Insurance is betting against oneself; your monthly payment is basically saying that you believe you will get deathly ill/injured in such a way that the insurance company will pay more for your care than you will. It’s a scam that has priced health care beyond what the non-insured can afford and is the reason we are in this mess in the first place.

The insult added to this injury is that they probably banned the medical savings accounts that I was considering starting once I had enough income to add health care into my budget.

So, if I go completely dark, it will be because the IRS man has found a cop willing to arrest me for non-compliance. I’m not sure how people will be able to tell the difference betwixt my current “barely posting” state to complete darkness, but that’s that.

UPDATE: A less bile-filled, personal response than mine.

Unlike last year, it would have been boring, that’s why. I played video games, went to an evening church service, came home, ate chicken wings whilst watching Simpsons reruns, and went to bed. Boring, like I said.

I even made it over 24 hours before finding out who won. NBC 5 ruined it this morning, to which I say: May your obviously not Hispanic news anchoresses with Hispanic names grow beer bellies and beards.

Apparently, this was a Super Bowl ad. It made me want to grab some guns:

Tip of the Hat: That Other McCain

…but apparently the sodomites are in an uproar ’cause there was not a sodomite in Avatar. And the future is “transgender“.

A couple of things come to mind. Taking the movie at the intended surface, how can you possibly find a “positive role” for a sodomite in Avatar? Make him a bloodthirsty U.S. Army substitute character? Mayhaps one of those Pandora pillaging miners? Show two male Na’vi fornicating?

If Cameron did put a token sodomite in the movie, they would be in an uproar about that. They’d accuse him of portraying all sodomites as bloodthirsty warmongers or environmental rapists or non-human. The best he could have done was to either make the main character a sodomite (and ruin his chances at the American box office) or invent a sodomite character to ineffectively protest the actions of the “bad guys” and listen to the sodomites whine about being portrayed as milquetoasts.

Secondly, look at their reasons:

“1) To make all people aware that heterosexual arrogance, assumptions or exclusions of alternative sexualities in movies is no longer acceptable. Diversity and tolerance are human rights.

2) To speak out for all gay, bi-sexual, genderless and transgender people who are not represented by any character in Avatar.

3) To educate people about Evolution and humanity’s transition to transgenderism.”

Really? You could not even correct the grammar, eh? Or is “evolution” the deity to the sodomites like Athor, Rational God of Reason is the deity of Atheists?

And how is diversity and tolerance human rights? Human rights “are endowed by their Creator” on an individual basis, not made up as one goes along. An individual cannot be “diverse” in any real sense of the term. Ignoring the mixed ethnicity wrinkle (which, I would argue, makes a new ethnicity, not a combination of old ones), an individual can only be one gender, one creed, one state of health, and, yes, even one sexual preference. And tolerance, by the liberal definition those folks use, means unquestionable acceptance of another person’s behavior. God does not work that way; If He were “tolerant”, there would not have been any reason for Christ to go up on that cross since God would have been cool with sin.

And that third statement is waaaaaaaay off-base. Even assuming evolution can explain macro-population shifts like the one this guy is trying to pin it on, either sodomy as a lifestyle choice will fade out of existence on the human race will. I’m sorry, but whatever positive aspects of your “pro-sodomy gene” conveys upon you, it is more than counter-acted by the fact that you do NOT BREED! Using evolution to argue for your poor life-choice is like saying evolution favors individuals that claim to have a gene that makes them compulsively smash testes to a bloody pulp with a sledgehammer. Whatever personal enjoyment one would get from that exercise is counteracted by them not passing on that gene to the next generation more effectively than those that do not (because either you or your sexual partner are missing the organs one would need to reproduce). Therefore, that gene does not exist. It’s the same thing with sodomy. You can blame society, addiction, masochism, or bad parenting on your poor life-choice, but saying “I was born that way” does not fly.

Europe is a good example of what happens to those populations that start to favor the “pro-sodomy gene”. It is a contributing factor in Europe’s below replacement levels of population growth. The Mohammadean populations are not experiencing population decline partly because they repress those pro-sodomy desires. The threat of stoning is more than sufficient to stop most emotionally unstable people from trying to get two of the same type of genitalia to stimulate each other.

On an off-topic note, this is all pretty funny when they start whining about Avatar’s DVD release will have a deleted bit of heterosexual inter-species erotica (a back on topic note: they are happy with the inclusion of that bit of beastiality, they are just mad that the two critters in question have different genitalia) by posting Youtube videos of Mass Effect’s Liara fornicating with the female version of Shepard. The Asari breed by telepathic transmission of genetic material. I doubt Asari even have ovaries. Let’s see evolution make that happen from scratch. Especially when there is still a perfectly viable way of having children.

Tip of the Hat: One of my Youtube subscriptions commented on a response to a video on the subject (which had the link).

Random Thoughts

January 8, 2010

With apologies to Thomas Sowell:

*I guess I forgot to apologize to Thomas Sowell the last few times I did one of these. Am I the only one who gets the joke? And is the joke funny enough to keep doing it? The mind boggles. Or at least Scrabbles.

*A cardinal rule of life that I keep breaking: Never go to Chinese buffets for dinner. It’s the same quality and quantity of food that you would get for lunch, but they charge you $2-3 more. It’s a scam, I tells you.

*So, Marvel started their Siege event this Wednesday, and I picked up the “let’s follow Ben Urich around” miniseries (since they always have a “let’s follow Ben Urich around” miniseries and it usually has an interesting perspective on the events). And they had a parody of Glenn Beck pouting, singing the praises to Norman Osborn.

This was a little disconcerting. But it got me thinking, would conservatives actually support Norman Osborn if they did not have the benefit of knowing what’s going on it that Brillo pad shaped head of his like the comic book readers would? Let us examine the facts, shall we:

Pros:

  • Since conservatives believe in absolutes and in redemption, one could make the argument that they would buy into Norman’s “I got better” facade.
  • Norman is heading up the international defense arm of the government and is sticking it to those terrorists who he is not secretly working with, so he is doing his job better than a typical government employee.
  • Norman does not care for Obama’s approval, betwixt the Air Force One incident in The Thunderbolts and not even bothering to answer Obama’s call once he starts his invasion plan of Asgard (which is currently residing in the Wasteland). That’s ballsy in a way that a conservative could admire.
  • He shot the Skrull Queen in the face.

Cons:

  • We distrust big government, and HAMMER represents big government in a big way. It’s large, it’s international, it’s secretive, it’s leadership is appointed. A conservative would be wary of any governmental entity that claims to have our best interests in heart without proof.
  • One could also argue that Osborn’s cultus personalitae was built a little too well. Outside of a couple of incidents (Hawkeye busting into a live news broadcast to rant about Osborn, Spider-Man Youtubing some human experimentation Osborn was working on), one never sees Osborn presented in a negative light in the media. A conservative distrusts the “mainstream” media. There would be a segment of the conservative/libertarian movement that would be questioning Osborn just because the media seems to be for him.

It would be nice to see what a conservative journalist would think about all this but, unfortunately, there is not one. Ben Urich represents Old (liberal) Media. Sally Floyd represents New (liberal) Media. He’s New York Times; she’s Huffington Post. One could argue that J.J. Jamenson could be conservative, but he’s more comic relief and stereotype than actual character. That’s why we get Glenn Beck parodies.

So, Moe Lane was dared by his wife to declare Texas as part of “the East“.

And most of the Texans who chimed in on the comments are right to be offended. I mean who would want to be associated with “the East”? If it isn’t the New Yorkers hurling curses at each other, it’s the Japanese ninjas going crazy, flipping out, and killing everyone. Nothing good comes from “The East”. I mean, that dastardly sun is mocking me right now with it’s insufficient light and warmth during this winter season.

The reason we should be gentlemanly about this insult and excuse his behavior is because it is all about perspective. As a (I assume) native Marylander, Mr. Lane was deprived of a proper geography course. They probably just sang the directional song once or twice and then went back to coloring maps with crayons. The U.S. Department of Education wants to repress the truth of absolutism in all it’s forms: creationism, the moral clarity of the Judeo-Christian ethic, American exceptionalism, the nigh perpetual reign of Philosopher King Chuck Norris over the Kingdom of Texas, and the fact that Texas is the center by which all directions should be explained. While I could rant on about the others, the last fact is the one that has merit in the conversation.

The DoE wants people to view directions based on individual locations. Your position relative to others. Things closer to the equator than you are become “South”; things further away, “North”. Things closer to the prime Meridian are “East” and things closer to the International Date Line are “West”. It’s just a more sophisticated method of “This-a-way” and “That-a-way” that the directional relativists try to rot our kids brains out with.

It is mildly important to note that Mr. Lane got it wrong. Texas is closer to both the equator and the International Date Line than Maryland is; ergo, by this hedonistic compass rose method, Texas would be his “Southwest”, not his “East”. Texas would be “East” of, say New Mexico or Sonora, but not Maryland.

Of course, the proper definition of the directions follow. Be sure to note them down and use them in everyday language. It will show a level of sophistication well above the average public school graduate:

North – Anything closer to the North Pole than the Wasteland that separates the Kingdom of Texas from Those United States. Examples include Kansas and Nebraska.

South – Anything closer to the Equator than the Rio Grande OR anything on the opposite side of the Equator. Examples include Mexico and Australia.

East – Anything beyond Caddo Lake and the other geo-political markers on that end of The Kingdom of Texas. Examples include the former Confederate States of America and the Gulf of Mexico

West – Opposite of East. Examples include New Mexico and Sonora.

Wasteland – The foreigners call it Oklahoma. Good source of mole man labor, if you need intense digging work done under poor lighting conditions (and can shell out the tons of worms and grubs they expect for payment), and radioactive sub-human mutants, if you don’t feel like living anymore (and prefer death to come by being ripped apart and feasted upon but are too lazy to use proper zombie labor for the task).

So there you go, Mr. Lane. Now that I have given you a primer in geography, be sure to show off this new-found knowledge and correct your wife’s little mistake. That, in my perpetual state of bachelorhood, is one of things I think husbands are for.

UPDATE: Apparently Mr. Lane was born in either New York or New Jersey, but he is not sure. The Department of Education has failed another person in teaching them where they were born! The shame!

Thoughts on New Years

January 1, 2010

I’ve never particularly cared about New Year’s. It just seemed like a time to get drunkĀ  and act like eating black eye peas and cabbage have mystical properties at an arbitrary time of year. Oh, there are lame parades and college football (featuring schools I do not particularly care about) also, I suppose, but a lack of TV makes that an even less exciting prospect than it usually does. The only real “activity” that I even really notice is the fact that today is the first day I’ll mess up the date until I get used to writing “2010” instead of “2009”. Whoop-dee-do.

So, do not expect me to bust out the lists designed to reflect on the previous year.

In other calendar news, I failed Operation: Yearly Rejection 2009. I actually found a target, but a combination of my cowardliness and the typical single female pack mentality made it rather difficult to find the proper approach to ask her out. Having my hours cut down to the nub and getting in that car crash deflated whatever hope I had in mustering up the courage to actually ask her out before the calendar changed. It would be inappropriate to try and start dating when you do not have the income for it.

I’m also way behind on my Operation: 25 Things. Only 6 goals done to my satisfaction? Man, am I pathetic. I certainly do enjoy beating myself up.

Tomorrow is the blog’s first “birthday”. Mayhaps I’ll be in a better mood then. I’ll have a couple of hours of work at least. This whole sitting around with nothing to do, while nice for a while, is really a drag.