Chuck Norris Public Service Announcement #12

August 4, 2009


Ladies and Gentlemen, Chuck Norris:

“So, my fellow head-of-state Obama has still not released his original birth certificate? As it is his spawning day, I demand that he do so, to inform the world that he is actually an alien!

No, not the “born in Kenya” type alien. I concur with Lou Dobbs that Obama was birthed in Hawaii. I mean an extraterrestrial alien! Using my X-ray vision and my intimate understanding of human genetics, I have determined that Barack Obama lineage is not from this world! Why else does he hide the birth certificate from the public eye?

I am well-versed in intergalatic travel and have seen this kind of thing before. Alien embryos are implanted into native women to get around a planet’s immigration law or for other forms of subterfuge. The babies are then raised in the ways of it’s true species via implanted information chips. Since our Constitution has no genetic qualifications to serve as President, Obama should admit to his true species to the world. If he does not, the streets will run a blueish-grey (which is the color Obama’s blood will be when exposed to oxygen) in my efforts to prove it!

Your present (a face-melting roundhouse kick) will be delivered when you least expect it. If your species is not used to natal day gift exchanges, understand it is part of our culture.

So, admit to your alien origins, Obama, or prepared to be destroyed!”

The more you know… the less likely you will be annihilated by the most deadly mortal ever to live, Chuck Norris.

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