So, Nobody has Voted on My Hypothetical Pickled Pig’s Feet Eating Contest

July 7, 2009

Is it too weird or nerdy for you? Or is even that question too hard?

Well, to encourage the democratic process, I’m going to throw some food for thought at you. Let’s examine how some of the competitors distinguish themselves in this kind of competition.

If these results are any indication, thin Asians have a distinct advantage in eating contests. Typical American eating competitors tend to have a thick layer of fat, which prevents the stomach from expanding sufficiently. You will notice that the current winner (who is American), is rail-thin and uses Japanese eating contest training techniques. Now, all four competitors are rather thin, so there might not be much of an advantage going in, but the nod goes to Sulu on this one.

Age is also a factor. Everyone remembers the “eat a bunch of gross stuff at once” phase they (or their classmates) went through. High school aged folks can really pack it in when they want to. Advantage, Crusher.

Paris served some prison time and Mayweather lived on cargo ships for his formative years. I do not know how that would help in an eating contest, but, frankly, none of ya’ll probably remember who those two are anyways.

So, are you going to say anything now?

And, for your viewing pleasure, Kobayashi vs. a Bear:


2 Responses to “So, Nobody has Voted on My Hypothetical Pickled Pig’s Feet Eating Contest”

  1. Tony G Says:

    I’m proud to be American!

  2. liberexmachina Says:

    USA!! USA!! USA!!

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