Obama Turns His Back on Yet Another Democratic Voting Bloc…

June 23, 2009

First it was the sodomites for not supporting their rabid overturn Proposition 8 campaign, and now Undead-Americans get to feel the snub from Obama.

Obama is trying to get Congress to pass a tax on the Undead-Americans, ironically called the Graveyard Housing Occupancy Unlimited Liability Act of 2009. Details are still scarce, but the title suggests some kind of property tax on cemetery plots, mausoleums, and other undead housing. That is what you get for not supporting Obama financially like the unions or China did; never mind the undead have voted Democratic 100% percent of the time they were allowed to vote.

The response from the undead community has been one of shock and betrayal.

David Naughton, who became undead during a trip to England, said, “With this new tax, Obama is going to drive me out of my home. Do you know how hard it is to hold a job when you roam the countryside feasting on innocent people every full moon, waking up naked miles from work around noon? Most employers do not take kindly to missing work and nobody likes it when you show up around closing time to apologize for not calling in while covered in the blood of your victims.”

Scientists informed a zombie with electrodes inserted into it’s brains about this new possible tax and, once they removed the white noise of “braaaaaaaiiiiiins”, got this response: “Obaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaa tryiiiiiiing to taaaaaaaaax me? Thaaaaaaat waaaaaaas not the hope and chaaaaaaaange I voted for.”

I’m personally torn by the prospects of this new tax. On the one hand, the money is going to be used on socialized medicine, which is not only an extravagant waste of money dooming us all to early graves but is a service that Undead-Americans cannot use. That’s like making a new tax the deaf to bail out NPR. On the other hand, the undead certainly seem to be not pulling their weight. If I have to pay taxes, they should too.

My plans for undead genocide does not seem so evil now, does it?


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