Barack Obama and His Cabinet of Doom!: The Execution

June 19, 2009


Femi-Nazi waits for the intro bump music to start. If you are going to brutally assassinate a talk radio host, you should do it while they are on the air to maximize the chilling effect it will have on dissident voices. Why is she in West Palm Beach, with dual Lugers at the ready? Because Obama chose her plan as the “best”, being that it was the only one both reasonably thought out and not passive-aggressive.

The music starts.

“Welcome to the EIB Network; this is a real man, a living legend, a way of life, a weapon of mass instruction, a harmless lovable little fuzzball and all around nice guy, El Rushbo, here to tell you like it is. Bo Snerdly, who is up first?”

The door is kicked in and the Femi-Nazi busts out, guns ablazing. Her plan might have worked, if the prestigious Attila the Hun Chair did not start hovering above the path of the 9mm lead flying its way.

“So, we meet at last for the final time. I have always been prepared for the forces of evil to try and thwart my broadcast. You are in for a treat folks! The infamous Femi-Nazi is here with murderous intent! I bet you wish you were a subscriber now! Now Femi-Nazi, are you mad because I stole your name or for the fact that you have not had a date in decades?”

She leaps towards the hovering talk show host, only to watch the chair swerve out of the way; she crashes through the wall.

“Whoa, folks, she is an angry one.”

Femi-Nazi throws a chunk of drywall at Rush, who again dodges.

“Time to use the Golden EIB Microphone in attack mode. You might want to turn down your radios. It’s going to get a little loud.”

A high-pitched feedback screech flows out of the microphone like a torrential hurricane crushing the Floridian shore.With his cochlear implants turned off, Rush is unaffected, but Femi-Nazi is not so lucky. She thrashes about on the floor, bleeding out of her ears and screaming. Rush turns the tone off and pulls out large gilded bow of Hunnish design, firing several shots into the deafened terrorists chest.

“And you thought the Prestigious Attila the Hun Chair was just a name. All you liberals need to take note, red-blooded conservatives do not take tresspassing and attempted murder lightly. And we do not wait for the police to save us. Any last words?”

Femi-Nazi spat in Rush’s face.

“Very well. One less terrorist in the world, coming right up.”

Another arrow, this time right in her eye. She slumps, dead.

***

“Ahmahb-O of the clutch Kahr-A, your payment for failure has been acknowledged. May Egh-Y not use you to batter his fried arugula.”

***

What’s next for Obama? Why, his ABC special on Socialized Medicine, of course. After that, he needs to find a replacement.

Speaking of which, I’m taking suggestions for a new member. Stick them in the comments.

Tune in next time!

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