Chuck Norris Public Service Announcement #7

June 17, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, Chuck Norris:

“I, Chuck Norris, Philosopher King of Texas, have been made aware that some people are scared of Barack Obama. You are fools! You should not be afraid of Obama, you should be filled to the brim with righteous wrath! The streets should run red with the blood of Obama’s government for the insults he regularly unleashes upon my former country!

You need some reasons to boil your blood with red-hot ire? Here are some of mine:

  • “[He initiates] more government borrowing and bailouts than all presidents combined, [then requires] Congress to follow a system that is “pay-as-you-go.”
  • [He] really [does] believe that going into massive amounts of debt can remedy [their] economy in the long run.
  • [His] actions don’t reflect the federal governmental constraints and fiscally prudent principles of our Founding Fathers and Constitution.
  • [He] repeatedly still play the blame game with the Bush administration but never blame the Clinton administration, even though it was responsible for the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac subprime fiasco via the proliferation of loans to unqualified borrowers.
  • [He buys and runs] the banking, automobile and (soon) health industries with taxpayers’ money but [refuses] to call it socialism.
  • [He claims] to be a fighter for minorities and the promises of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness yet [does] not defend the unborn. What greater minority is there than those in the womb, against whom [he] already [has] enacted more [pro-infanticide] laws than anyone since the Roe v. Wade decision?
  • [He promises] to defend the U.S. against all potential enemies yet [pacifies] those harboring terrorists, [fights] for the rights of combative detainees, and [enables] the enemies of Israel.
  • [He denies] America’s Judeo-Christian heritage before other countries of the world, espousing “the promise of a secular nation” during an age in which religious revisionism is on the rise.
  • [His] media team (including the mainstream media) seeks to label as radical, quarantine socially or in some way penalize any opposing conservative voices (such as conservative talk show hosts, news agencies, columnists and actors, such as Jon Voight).
  • [His] media team does not address or diminish in any way [his] deification before the world, epitomized by the editor of Newsweek who stated this past week on Chris Matthews’ MSNBC show: “In a way, Obama’s standing above the country, above the world. He’s sort of God.” (How much scarier can it get than representative statements like that in a republic that once stood for a balance among political powers and a government “by the people, for the people”?)”

For every one of these offenses to our Founding Fathers and my former countrymen, I will strike Obama down with the power of 100 million exploding suns! That’s 100 times the power of the Sentry! Who can oppose me?

Stop fearing Obama, or you will be destroyed!”

The more you know… the less likely you will be annihilated by the most deadly mortal ever to live, Chuck Norris.


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