To New Mexico

April 27, 2009


Professor Key-Os is in quite a tiff as he hauls his nuclear payload to the Mexican drug cartels, ‘I should be in Washington, advising the President that his proposed 100 millions dollar cut from his 3.5 trillion dollar budgetcould be disastrous. Even a minute cut in governmental spending may sink the economy forever. But no, I get to needlessly waste more money delivering weapons in non-stimulative ways. Golly, Obama has no even announced any increases in spending to clean up the nuclear wasteland that was Oklahoma. One would begin to think that Obama does not want the economy to recover or, even worse, that he is some kind of economic libertarian…’

Professor Key-Os hears some rustling in the sagebrush behind him. He had the inkling suspicion he was being followed. A hunched-over thing with thin, wispy hair and a ragged three-piece suit crawls out of the brush and jumps on the nuclear weapon, cooing, “My precious, my precious.”

Professor Key-Os pulls the scrawny thing off of the nuke. He did got a good look at the thing’s face.

“Governor Richardson?”

“Please, master, let me hold unto the precious. Richardson will be ever so good. Please? I’ll give you some fish!”

The thing pulls some rotted fish parts from his tattered suit, some of which he greedily eats. Professor Key-Os is disgusted.

“Times must be hard for you sent you withdrew your desire to serve the Great Obama.”

Richardson was not paying attention; he was too busy hugging the bomb cooing, “My precious” again.

“Being out of governmental service has driven you a little batty, Richardson. How about this: I pay you $5 to deliver this bomb to the Mexican drug cartels. Then we can see about giving some more shovel-work. Does that sound good?”

Richardson quips, “Yes, master! I’ll hold onto the precious for the master! Richardson good!”

“Excellent; I’ll leave you to it.”

Professor Key-Os heads back to Washington, feeling satisfied. After all, he increased government spending by five whole dollars and, perhaps, saved an old government servant by giving him lower-level bureaucrat work.

***

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious from Richardson. The precious makes Richardson strong.’

The thought has been running though his mind on a constant loop since the master handed the precious over to him.

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious from Richardson. The precious makes Richardson strong.’

He is surrounded by New Mexico police. Still trying to bring him in on various corruption charges.

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious from Richardson. The precious makes Richardson strong.’

The precious is making a ticking noise as the timer runs down.

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious from Richardson. The precious makes Richardson strong.’

The police fire at him, trying to get close enough to disarm the precious, to hurt the precious.

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious from Richardson. The precious makes Richardson strong.’

Too late. The precious has hit the last few numbers. There is no time for the police to hurt it.

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious from Richardson. The precious makes Richardson strong.’

3…2…1

‘Richardson has the precious. Nobody will take the precious —‘

***

2 nukes down, 2 to go. Will Arizona and California suffer a nuclear explosion like New Mexico and Oklahoma did? Find out next time.

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