Life of LEM: Updates

April 15, 2009


Well, I now know what it is like to be one of Oprah’s thralls.

It’s been over 24 hours, and I have yet to be allowed the privilege of IMAO accepting my award for internet-level literacy. Harvey, gate-keeper of award reception, has said that it may take awhile, but I am still a-buzz with anticipation. If The Simpsons have taught me anything, it is that you can appease Oprah with baked hams. Therefore, until my award has been received (or I get bored of it, whichever comes first), I shall daily try to bribe Harvey with posted pictures of baked hams, like this one:

In other post update news, you may have though that the Injun that has modified his body to look more like a tiger was an isolated incident, but you would be mistaken. A girl with tiger-stripe tattoos up her legs came into work today! Be vigilant, for I was no kidding when I said the cat ladies walk amongst us, plotting to curse you with an abundance of pet kittens.

Thirdly, I shall soon be starting a new fiction series, (Pathetic) Adventures in Board Games. If you think my barely coherent ramblings that resemble Barack Obama fan fiction can kill some time, start holding your breath; for (Pathetic) Adventures in Board Games will quite possibly be the strangest fan fiction you will read (or, conversly, scroll through in an effort to see if my attempts at humor can elicit a chuckle or two). The premise wil definately be posted this week; the rapid release of Rounds Zero (and maybe One) will be dependent on whether I clear off the kitchen card table soon or not.

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