I Pity the Foo’!

April 1, 2009


Ladies and Gentlemen, in Celebration of April Foo’s Day, Mr. T:

  • I Pity the Foo’ who voted for Obama, thinking he was for Hope AND Change instead of for destroying the former to create the latter.
  • I Pity the Foo’ who thinks California is better than Texas.
  • I Pity the Foo’ who confuses the Enterprise as something to haul garbage or something to be hauled away AS garbage.
  • I Pity the Foo’ who did not bring an envelope to this Bar Mitzvah.
  • I Pity the Foo’ who thinks California is better than a garbage barge.
  • I Pity the Foo’ who thinks me firing a gatlin’ gun that uses Snickers as bullets at an effeminate jogger is somehow anti-sodomite.
  • I Pity the Foo’ who spends hours trying to milk soybeans to sell to soya companies.
  • I Pity the Foo’ that did not shoot milk (real or otherwise) out of their noses when reading my list of Foo’s to Pity.

The more you know, the less likely you will be pitied to death by one of the leading causes of pain, first name Mister, middle name Period, last name “Tee”.

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