Crushing the Dream?

February 4, 2009


Tip of the Hat for imao.us for this gem…

Our progress against the wolf menace

Our progress against the wolf menace

So Ashley Judd wants to save the wolves from Sarah Palin’s righteous wrath against them, eh?

She is even trying to get the kiddies involved by sending Sarah Palin coloring pages with a wolf on it and a writing prompt. As if Gov. Palin’s children and grandchild could not provide enough poorly colored wolves to be put on her refrigerator. Or in her hunting trophy room.

As someone who dreams of killing delicious animals with a gun and a helicopter ever since Tina Fey said Palin was for it, I feel it is my responsibility to help the kiddies finish that writing prompt. Here we go:

Dear Governor Palin, I am asking you to stop the aerial killing of wolves in Alaska because...”

  • It’s too hard to see their heads explode from rocket-propelled grenades from that high up.
  • Nuclear devices would be much more effective at killing wolves
  • Helicopter fuel should be conserved to shoot tastier animals, like caribou or whales
  • You have to land to cut off the dead wolf’s leg; that’s just inefficient
  • A stray shot might hit a snowmobile riding wolf hunter. We need to be considerate of other hunters
  • Capturing the wolves and dropping them from helicopters over Siberia would teach them Russians what for!

Add more suggested responses in the comments section below.

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