Just Say No… To Cussin’

January 30, 2009


I first heard about this from a 3 AM Jay Leno rerun, of all things. The No Cussing Club was founded by a (at the time) middle school kid just tired of the stream of profanity gushing forth from his school chums’ mouths like a backlogged septic tank. So, he asked them to stop. Then he thought it was so cool that he started a club based around people voluntarily watching their language. Then, apparently, the death threats started. But he is continuing his quest for people to not talk like sailors.

I applaud the kid’s efforts. Cussing is an annoyance I have learned to handle in a different (and probably less helpful) way: literalizing the situation.

The technique is simple. Whenever someone says a curse word around me, I simply ask them to clarify the previous statement, subbing in a Biblical or scientific term (depending on the curse word) for their profanity. Examples include: “Why do you want to fornicate with a piece of paper? Isn’t that a little painful?” or “I’m sorry but we do not sell scat here. Why would you want to consume feces anyways?”

It works in the short term by pointing out the ridiculousness of the gratuitous f-bomb (or s-bomb or b-bomb or whatnot). The couple of consistant cussers in my circle take it more as a joke than a subtle way to ask them to correct their grammar. They’ll even join in.

There is something to be said for the direct approach to a problem.

Anyways, join up if you like voluntary politeness. Orange t-shirts are optional (I hope). I await the nay-sayers barely coherent, cuss filled replies. Please note my comment moderation disclaimer before you get too involved in typing your pointy, pointy words, if you would not mind.

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