Barack Obama and His Cabinet of Doom: And the rest…

January 26, 2009

Washington, D.C.- With most of his Cabinet assembled, Obama begins his meeting.

“I like how you are paying to rid women of their parasitic leaches around the world, but when are we going to mandate that all male parasites be eradicated?”

“We need to start a pilot program to test that.”

“How about Alaska? Way too many men out there.”

“We’ll see.” Obama rolls his extra eyes (conveniently covered by his fake ears). FemiNazi does not see how men can be used in the lithium mines that his people need to survive in this nitrogenous atmosphere. The batteries Obama has dissolved in his “margaritas” is enough for him, but there are not enough batteries to keep an invasion force of millions alive here for long.

The hippie minions he has unpacking The Hollywood Shambler drops a crowbar.

“Careful with that!” Obama chides his mindless peons, “And what did I tell you about leaving that cage door open?”

One of the minions shuts the cage while the other one starts to open the wooden box. Once the box was opened enough, the Shambler bursts forth, feasting on the hapless hippies. They gave their lives for Obama and he does not even bother to thank them.

‘Aw, the final member of my cabal.’ A glowing man wearing tweed walks in the door.


“Who is that green man? He is Professor Key-os. Once the mild-manner economics professor Bob Smith, Professor Key-os was bitten by a radioactive communist during a terrorist attack on a world economics conference. The radiation gave him the power to redistribute the abilities of two individuals by touching them, granting each individual half of the strengths and weaknesses of the other at the cost of half of their strengths and weaknesses. The radiation warped his mind, making him a full blown Keynesian. And now you know… all of the backstory the author bothered to write.”


“Wait, was that a parody of the Paul Harvey character from Freakazoid? That’s too American. Get him!”


After feeding the parody of a parody to the Hollywood Shambler, Obama gets to the crux of the meeting.

“Suit up, we are heading to Cuba.”

“Cuba? What’s in Cuba?”

“Our first mission. We must free those poor, innocent detainees. My executive order will that too long.”

Steam Moose speaks up, “Sir, Master Roosevelt would not like that. Those men are known terrorists. They have sworn to destroy America. Freeing them gives them the opportunity to harm us again and they have shown the desire to do so. Are you trying to weaken America?’

“Quiet, you, or I’ll throw you in the closet again.”

Next time- To Cuba!


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