Life of LEM: Epiphany Party Weekend

January 11, 2009


I was going to post my Munchkin project beginnings, but it seems a little trivial right now (maybe when I am in a more trivial mood).

I do not usually take time off. I figure that if whatever I gain for having a night off is less than what the boss-man would have to give up, it is selfish of me to do so. But, last night was a little different. College Surrogate Roommate and his wife were throwing a belated Epiphany party (some thoughts here) and, seeing that business is so bad that we needed the $50 in payroll savings to stay afloat, is was worth the effort to take a night off to go socialize.

In one sense, it was a disaster. Roommate and Roommate’s girlfriend (interesting nom-de-plumes will be developed later) could not go until 10ish; we carpooled and the transmission in the car owned by Roommate’s girlfriend decided to implode. We were stranded at a McDonald’s in southern Highland Village/ northern Lewisville. The party came to rescue us, we towed the broken car to the nearest mechanic using a tow rope and Last Year’s Surrogate Roommate’s father’s truck (where it still sits, awaiting the mechanic shop to open), and then moved the party back to CSR’s house. We did some gift exchanges (I got a box of firecrackers they meant to give me last year!), played some arcade TMNT on the PS2, watched some Disney chick flick, and went to bed around 4.5 AM. I probably did not fall asleep until 5.5 or 6 AM, but that is neither here nor there.

This morning, I got to sort of wake up at 10 AM, being told that CVS was still going to make Roommate’s Girlfriend work today, even though she was stranded in Carrollton. With a zombie-like trance, I got dressed and got in the car. Roommate forgot to take the keys out of his car’s trunk keyhole and just realized that he did not have them. They scoured the house, the cars, and whatnot while I tried to decide if I was awake or not. We get home in time for Roommate to go to Keller. I am left here alone.

With nothing better to do at 12ish and the inability to go back to sleep once I decide I am awake, I decided to read my Roommate’s most recent book acquisition, Samson and the Pirate Monksby Nate Larkin. And man was that I book I needed to read. It is a combination conversion story and the origin of the Samson Society. These societies are modeled after AA and it supposed to provide support for guys as they try to life out the Christian lifestyle.

[Sorry if there is a break in tone here; I left to go be church while in the middle of writing]

The book (and today’s sermon) just highlighted everything that is wrong with my stumbling walk with Christ. I have not backslid this year or anything like that; I have just been floundering under pain and isolation. The combination of working 6 nights a week and not wanting to force people in a condition similar to mine on Sunday has resulted in me spending the vast majority of my time either at home alone or at work. My normal schedule is: wake up sometime between noon and 2 PM, sit around at home, eat dinner, go to work (or church on Sundays), come home, sit around until I am tired enough to try and get some sleep. Then repeat ad infinitum.

And I am somehow so socially inadequate (blame it on cowardice, lack of social graces, self-loathing, what have you) that I will not do anything about it. I mean, my time where real fellowship could possibly happen is in that lull between normal people’s lunch and dinner where everyone is trying to finish work and go home. By the time they would be willing to put up with other people, I am already at work. I do not even try to initiate anything because I feel that everyone that would tolerate my presence has better things to do than hang around with me (you know, jobs and girlfriends/wives and pet rocks to take care of and actual Godly missions to perform).

Not that it is all bad. I still got my health and all of my limbs. I have a pantry full of food and devices that magically bring water to me. I got an invisible audience to talk to. My roommate tries to keep me company (which I appreciate more than I know how to express) when he’s done with jobs, girlfriends, missionary work, et cetera, but I think he is getting a little tired of it. I have not hit that “See you later, God” spot like I did during summers away from college when I was under similar conditions at home.

I’m just ready for something more than merely going through another day without getting hit by a bus. I miss people willing to spend extended periods of time with me, prodding me back on the narrow path whenever I slip up. I miss opening up the Word of God with a group of people earnestly trying to figure out what it means instead of looking at what other people are saying about it. I miss being hospitable and hosting Sunday lunches, even if I was a bad at it. In other words, I miss the kind of stuff Mr. Larkin was talking about and  wish I did not take so much of it for granted.

Ok. Pity party over. It’s a good book. Read it.

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