(Pathetic) Adventures in Board Games: Round 2

Clarence became free to move in time to battle the Snails on Speed. With his chainsaw ablazing, it was going swimmingly until an Overbear wandered into the pit. The combined might of the “toy” and the snails was too much. A red “-2″ hovered over him; he quickly bound his wounds (a green “+2″ hovered over him after he did so) and prepared to run away.

He made it to the Hall of Shame, but not without dropping his cards and taking another hit from the bear. He searched the room, finding 300 gold.

He headed towards the Hall of Mirrors. He fought the dreaded Gazebo which killed Thaddeus only one round ago. His chainsaw cut the Gazebo to ribbons. A gold “Level 3″ hovered over him as the Gazebo changed into a Healing Potion and some worthless spiked boots. He stuck the potion to his belt and was frozen by the disembodied voice.

***

The Large, Angry Chicken fell into the Spiked Pit and the Snails zoomed to the Wall of Shame. The rest of the monsters were too amused by their current locations to leave.

***

Warwick found 300 gold in the Mead Hall. He then headed west.

He walked into a room with various maps and plans to nuke the mythic land of Cleveland (home of a terrible taxi driving duck). Though Warwick could not read the hovering “War Room” sign, he knew he liked the room. A Tentacle Demon was to one of the sides, planning to conquer the world (as all purple tentacles are wont to do); Warwick was, again, ignored.

He continues west. The next room has a massive number of straw-stuffed hero dummies, covered in burns, teeth marks, and various drools. Warwick sees that this is a Monster Training Room; why would monsters need to train? A Shadow Nose dissolved right as he entered the room. So, Warwick pretty much wasted his turn.

***

Ironically enough, the Bullrog, Tentacle Monster, and King Tut all decide that they want to train. The Snails on Speed zoom into the Stinking Pit. The Overbear and Large, Angry Chicken did not bother to try and escape the spiked pit.

***

William battles the Snails on Speed when he was free to move. The malodorous air caused the Snails to grow a thick mat of hair, making them even more dangerous. It was quite a battle, but William prevailed. A gold “Level 4″ hovered over him and the Hairy Snails on Speed changed into a Door Diddling Scroll and a Greater Potion of Insubstantiality; he sticks them on his belt and headed north.

The room he entered was a Gym. “A gym?” pronounced William with a long ‘i’ sound. He saw a Goldfish and Mr. Bones boxing. “Oh, a gym,” understood William, again mispronouncing ‘gym’.

He jumped into the fray, handily beating both puny monsters. He eats the goldfish corpse and a golden “Level 5″ (with an equally golden “+1 hit”) hovers over him. He collects the worthless elven flip-flops  and emerald bane ring.

He searches the room to find 300 gold and a Big Lock. A brown “Ransacked” hovers below the “Gym” sign.

***

The monsters all stayed put.

***

Tune in next week for Round 3