Obama Tries Out for “America’s Next Top Jihadist”
April 28, 2009
Obama tries out for the Middle East’s favorite “reality tv” show, “America’s Next Top Jihadist”, yesterday by ordering a customized Boeing 747 to crash into the Statue of Liberty, sending New Yorkers in a panic as two symbols of America destroy each other. When asked, Obama replied, “It was for a photo op for the NTJ’s panelists. I want to show the world that you do not have to believe in Allah or any sort of omnipotent diety to be a good jihadist. All you need is an intense hatred of America. And no national politican has a more intense hatred of all things American like I do. Even Arlen Specter loves America too much, deep down inside. But, don’t worry, I’ll crush that patriotism out of him while I campaign for his re-election in a year or so. Assuming, of course, I have not destroyed America by then.”
He then ululated for several minutes, chanting “Death to America” for several hours.
The panelists were not impressed.
“Obama did not comandeer the plane; he was not even on it,” Mohammad Hussein, top judge and professional jihadi talent agent stated, “He just ordered his pilot chaffuer to crash into the Statue of Oppression. While one has to admire his vision, a good jihadist has to be willing to get his hands dirty.”
The controvesy would continue if Obama was accepted as a contestant. The contestants compete in various jihadi activites (bomb-making, blowing up Israeli marketplaces, fundraising for CAIR, et cetera), with losers being beheaded for “shaming Allah”. The winner gets to design and implement an assassination attempt against the American president.
When someone mentioned that to Obama, he said, “Gee whiz, I always wanted to kill President Bush for stealing the election and loving America. That would be swell.” He then continued to ululate.
