Just Say No… To Cussin’

I first heard about this from a 3 AM Jay Leno rerun, of all things. The No Cussing Club was founded by a (at the time) middle school kid just tired of the stream of profanity gushing forth from his school chums’ mouths like a backlogged septic tank. So, he asked them to stop. Then he thought it was so cool that he started a club based around people voluntarily watching their language. Then, apparently, the death threats started. But he is continuing his quest for people to not talk like sailors.

I applaud the kid’s efforts. Cussing is an annoyance I have learned to handle in a different (and probably less helpful) way: literalizing the situation.

The technique is simple. Whenever someone says a curse word around me, I simply ask them to clarify the previous statement, subbing in a Biblical or scientific term (depending on the curse word) for their profanity. Examples include: “Why do you want to fornicate with a piece of paper? Isn’t that a little painful?” or “I’m sorry but we do not sell scat here. Why would you want to consume feces anyways?”

It works in the short term by pointing out the ridiculousness of the gratuitous f-bomb (or s-bomb or b-bomb or whatnot). The couple of consistant cussers in my circle take it more as a joke than a subtle way to ask them to correct their grammar. They’ll even join in.

There is something to be said for the direct approach to a problem.

Anyways, join up if you like voluntary politeness. Orange t-shirts are optional (I hope). I await the nay-sayers barely coherent, cuss filled replies. Please note my comment moderation disclaimer before you get too involved in typing your pointy, pointy words, if you would not mind.

Of Remakes and Revisionings

So, I saw the new “The Day the Earth Stood Still” today at the $2 theatre; it annoyed me just enough to impel me to rant about a particularly noxious subject: Sci-Fi Movie “Remakes”.

A couple of supposedly “remade” films had very little to do with the original films. It is quite annoying that Hollywood is so afraid of pursuing original intellectual properties that they have to vomit upon old classics to produce something relatively new.

Case in point, “The Invasion”was supposed to be a remake of the 50′s sci-fi classic The Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In the original movie, a country doctor and his female divorcee love interest from a plant-like race of space pods that form emotionless duplicates of people; in the new movie, a New York psychologist and her doctor love interest from a space virus that takes over people, leaving them emotionless husks of their former selves. While there are certain similarities (invasion from space, emotionless husks, uninfected trying to stop it), it was such a radical departure in how the invasion worked that it honestly could have worked better with an original name.

At least The Invasion had the decency of a partial name change. The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) could not even be bothered to do that. The original tale was a warning to not weaponize space; the new, Klaatu starts to destroy humanity because we are destroying the planet. The original Klaatu actively tries to solve the problem diplomatically and to figure out humanity; Keanu “I know Kung-Fu” Reeves almost immediately sets out to start the doomsday plot with minimal contact with real people. The original Gort was a robot that only started his rampage after Klaatu is (temporarily) killed and has an easy enough stop command that Helen can do it; the new Gort is named by the military and apparently has no real stop command. Bobby was the stereotypical 50′s kid; Jacob needed some corporal punishment, treating his step-mom (Helen) like dirt, betraying them to the military, and being an all-around jerk. Helen goes from widowed woman in a serious dating relationship to a widowed astrobiologist that is drug around by the forces that be: the government, her stepson, Klaatu. In fact, the only majorish character that wasn’t radically changed was Professor Barnhardt (he was a physicist and now an evolutionary biologist, but his specific occupation was not a big part of the character). The ending was the most dramatic part of all. The original ended with Klaatu warning humanity to not weaponize space or his people’s army of Gort-like robots would come and destroy us; the new is Gort permanently shutting down all technology on Earth with a massive EMP pulse without a word of warning. The original movie calls us to get along; the new, that only by subsistence farming (which we would be reduced to doing if we lost all our tech) is the only way to save the planet. The new movie had so little to do with the original that the creators should not have co-opted the original character names. They should have called it something else. Maybe stick something about The Day After Tomorrow in it. Then I would not have wasted my $2.

As Hunted Down!

I found a YouTube clip of the Rosie O’Donnell scene from An American Carol! The quality may not be the best (if the weird Google video search results page is any indication) but my reference to how Obama wants us to think is intact.

The Day America Lost the War?

As I noted a couple of days ago, Mr. Obama made his first interview as president with Al-Arabiya. I implied that this shows cowardice on the part of Mr. Obama, granting that yearned for first interview with a supposedly pro-American Middle Eastern station instead of somewhere that he would be challenged by the people he has yet to win over here. You know, talk to Rush or somebody like that. I guess he was expecting a fluff interview over there.

I guess I was wrong about that.

I did not get a chance to see the interview (I did read the transcript linked below), but Mr. Shapiro did. And the interview is very telling in another way. Obama has little desire to defend us from the Mohammedans who wish to crush America (and the rest of the West) under the Sharia Law foot; he would rather appease them like a modern-day Chamberlain pleading with the tyrants of the world to be satisfied with modern day Czechoslovakia ( letting them annihilate Israel, prosecuting critics of Mohammedanism as purveyors of hate speech, et cetera). And, at risk of losing the argument by “bringing out the Hitler“, we all saw how that worked out…

A look at the snippets Mr. Shaprio pulled suggests Obama views the solution to Mohammedan terror is compromise on our part and not compromise on theirs:

“[All] too often the United States starts by dictating. So let’s listen.”

“[The] language we use matters. And what we need to understand is, is that there are extremist organizations — whether Muslim or any other faith in the past — that will use faith as a justification for violence. We cannot paint with a broad brush a faith as a consequence of the violence that is done in that faith’s name.”

“And my job is to communicate to the American people that the Muslim world is filled with extraordinary people who simply want to live their lives and see their children live better lives.”

Not to belabor the point Mr. Shapiro has made, but notice that Obama says we need to listen, we need use inoffensive language, we need to see the part of the world that ferments Mohammedan terror as “just like us”. There is a minor call for Mohammedans to listen, to stop calling us “The Great Satan”, to see the West as decent, hard-working folks (in the parallel line “My job to the Muslim world is to communicate that the Americans are not your enemy”); but the big thrust of it is that the whole terrorism thing is America’s fault.

No, we are just to think of the war on terror like the Rosie O’Donnell parody from American Carol. If I had the “documentary” the Rosie character made, I’d insert it here.

I’m not going to go so far as to say that we have lost. We did not lose the Cold War because Jimmy Carter was president for 4 years of it. We probably can endure 4 years of Obama undermining the current war, too; but it is unsettling to think that Obama is going forward with this kind of mindset.

Transcript and Al-Arabiya Article here.

Need to Stick Something Up Today

News that interest me comes in waves. It’s a dry day in news and a very wet, very cold day in Denton.

On recommendation from the only downstairs customer I got, I present this. My biology degrees qualify me to sign, as far as I can tell; hopefully they allow signers to consent via e-mail, for I do not want to mess with printers and postage. Any other science lettered folks that want to throw your name in the hat, instructions are here.

From what data I have seen, I think the whole “Climate Change” cult is a scam. If nothing else, the fact that they blamed the same fossil fuels boogey man for “Global Cooling” in the 70′s (as shown in this Time article) makes me want to cry shenanigans. So, I’ll update this if and whene’er I get on the petition.

I still get TV for 4 more months.

My apartment gets “free” “cable”. It is free in that it is part of rent; it is cable in that it comes via coaxial line. We get channels 2 (Daystar) though 13 (PBS), and, if those obnoxious 5 minute long DTV readiness tests are any indication, our off brand cable company is not yet ready to convert.

Now, they may have until June 12 to be ready to comply. That’s one less potential phone call I have to make to the landlord. Huzzah.

Though it looks like PBS will suffer if this goes through. I am a little torn about that. On the one hand, the world would be better off without PBS’ news and retarded (in content, not necessarily in audience) children’s programming; on the other, I like watching British comedies Sunday night whilst stabbing the furniture. And those are probably the first things to go, since PBS is not getting rid of their news and children’s programs without a fight.

Obama supports the delay so that he can send out more converter box/wealth distribution coupons. My half-baked support for the delay is laziness. Who is worse?

He already has the American media eating out of his hands…

…featuring daily Insider segments, so Mr. Obama goes forth for a challenge.

Am I talking about doing a segment with Rush Limbaugh? No. I’m talking about an interview with Al-Arabiya. It appears that Al-Arabiya is the Middle Eastern version of Fox News, if Wikipedia gets it right. So, the man that refused to go to the Pro-American cable news station here until Hillary did goes to the Pro-American station o’er there?

That says something about him, does it not?

Tip of the Hat: Drudge

Barack Obama and His Cabinet of Doom: And the rest…

Washington, D.C.- With most of his Cabinet assembled, Obama begins his meeting.

“I like how you are paying to rid women of their parasitic leaches around the world, but when are we going to mandate that all male parasites be eradicated?”

“We need to start a pilot program to test that.”

“How about Alaska? Way too many men out there.”

“We’ll see.” Obama rolls his extra eyes (conveniently covered by his fake ears). FemiNazi does not see how men can be used in the lithium mines that his people need to survive in this nitrogenous atmosphere. The batteries Obama has dissolved in his “margaritas” is enough for him, but there are not enough batteries to keep an invasion force of millions alive here for long.

The hippie minions he has unpacking The Hollywood Shambler drops a crowbar.

“Careful with that!” Obama chides his mindless peons, “And what did I tell you about leaving that cage door open?”

One of the minions shuts the cage while the other one starts to open the wooden box. Once the box was opened enough, the Shambler bursts forth, feasting on the hapless hippies. They gave their lives for Obama and he does not even bother to thank them.

‘Aw, the final member of my cabal.’ A glowing man wearing tweed walks in the door.

***

“Who is that green man? He is Professor Key-os. Once the mild-manner economics professor Bob Smith, Professor Key-os was bitten by a radioactive communist during a terrorist attack on a world economics conference. The radiation gave him the power to redistribute the abilities of two individuals by touching them, granting each individual half of the strengths and weaknesses of the other at the cost of half of their strengths and weaknesses. The radiation warped his mind, making him a full blown Keynesian. And now you know… all of the backstory the author bothered to write.”

***

“Wait, was that a parody of the Paul Harvey character from Freakazoid? That’s too American. Get him!”

***

After feeding the parody of a parody to the Hollywood Shambler, Obama gets to the crux of the meeting.

“Suit up, we are heading to Cuba.”

“Cuba? What’s in Cuba?”

“Our first mission. We must free those poor, innocent detainees. My executive order will that too long.”

Steam Moose speaks up, “Sir, Master Roosevelt would not like that. Those men are known terrorists. They have sworn to destroy America. Freeing them gives them the opportunity to harm us again and they have shown the desire to do so. Are you trying to weaken America?’

“Quiet, you, or I’ll throw you in the closet again.”

Next time- To Cuba!

Barack Obama and His Cabinet of Doom: Yew Man

Berkley, California – Francis Explosion straightened his tie. He is demonstrating his newest weapon today: the Life Bomb. It eradicates all life within a block radius though a complicated barrage of radiation. The radiation dissipates faster than a typical nuclear weapon, allowing the land to be repopulated within a few years. Explosion, Inc is set to make a mint.

A shaggy looking man is driving his limo.

“Where is Maurice?”

“Who, man?”

“Maurice. My usual driver.”

“Oh, he has some kind of flu thing, man. I’m a temp.”

“Whatever. Drive,” Francis got into the limo. And was knocked out.

***

Explosion woke up in a damp cave. A large rock with some small holes hand carved in blocks the only apparent way out. A voice cries out from the other side of the rock, “You have been captured by Gaia Liberation! Your fight against Mother Earth has been put to an end! You will build us a weapon to destroy artificiality!”

“And it better be biodegradable, too!” Another voice yells from a distance.

“Yeah, man. It better be biodegradable. Mother Earth demands that we have no impact on her, man.”

***

Months pass. With only naturally dead sticks and stones to work with, Explosion had no idea what to do. They only feed him a thin gruel of organic fallen leaves, nuts, and fruits. The tools he has is not enough to dig himself out or smash through that blasted rock.

***

More months pass. Francis has started to go a little crazy. The gruel was starting to taste good. He drew designs for sharpened sticks in the sand. The nice people on the other side of the rock said they already knew about sharpened sticks, but he should keep trying.

***

More time passed. Explosion, who had no way of cleaning himself, noticed that he had moss growing out of his arm. He pulled at it. It hurt. He finally mustered enough strength to rip off a patch of moss. He screamed; the patch drew blood. He had a breakthrough.

He yelled for the nice people, but a new voice was there, “Mister Explosion, this is the FBI. Step away from the rock. We are going to blow it up.”

Confused, Francis got to the other side of the cave. An explosion rocked the cave. Agents swarmed in; he was hauled out.

***

Once the FBI cleared him, he started his real experiment. He planted yew seeds into his flesh and started cultivating them. Yew wood provided the flexibility the serve as an armor. The trees took root with some radioactive assistance. He then shaped the wood growing out of his arms to serve as crossbows; dead shoots as collected to serve as shafts once they are sharpened.

Once his armor was ready, he began to destroy his own company. Mother Earth demands it.

Barack Obama sent a carrier pigeon to his cave, asking him to be his Secretary of the Environment for some Secret Cabinet. Thoughts of having the force of law behind his plans to save Gaia from her human infestation ran though his head as he starts walking towards Washington, destroying as much man-made structures as he can along the way.

Bacon Wrapped Hotdogs are a Crime?

I was going to do another “look at this guy who linked to me” post, but the link already disappeared.

And then I saw this.

So, LA county says wrapping a hot dog in bacon without “proper equipment” is a health hazard (and therefore, a crime), eh? Ms. Ruettimann asks why LA county won’t give grants to small businesses to help them comply with their rules? Let me try and take a stab at it.

First of all, by helping the hot dog vendors comply with the new rule, they would be assisting them in supplying the noxious hot dogs that the rule is supposed to get rid of. The whole point of the rule is to supposedly protect people from themselves. They want to force people to eat healthier by crushing every business that supplies what they consider unhealthy that they can. They cannot go after the big box fast food chains, but they can kill the one-man hot dog stands.

The other issue is that liberal politicians by nature dislike businesses. They do not want to help businesses unless they can get their kickback. Fannie Mae and Mac, they give Chris Dodd and Barney Frank a ton of campaign donations, they get bailed out. The Big Three car companies funnel money to the UAW in droves, which gives the DNC tons of campaign donations and votes, they get bailed out? Circuit City and Linens ‘n’ Things? Not so much.